I am drowning in my internal monologue

with a heavy heart,

and unsaid grievances.

Unable to reciprocate an unsaid desire,

between empty pages and unlit cigarettes.

As the ink smears on our faces

your long slender finger picks up a fragment of the broken mirror

staring at it blindly.

The moon light reflects on our oblivious eyes

highlighting the hope it held within.

We stare at each other, without any thoughts

Just two hearts beating, filled with hatred for one another.

But emotionless on the outside.

Heavy breathing, while cursing softly under our breaths.

As the silence gets louder.

The blot of ink gets bigger,

We continue to stare at each other.

The lechery in my eyes continued to stare into hers,

The duplicity of her thoughts continued to bear on me.

We were not meant to be.



The Affair

I once had a passionate love affair with someone and it was marred by impossibilities.

Last summer we met for an unlikely affair.

We came from two different worlds,

both bounded by earthly chains, bringing us back to reality.

You lived like a queen, on the top floor of a trashy building.

I a makeshift aristocrat, trying to achieve a deluded dream.

You always wore a green scar and a grey cardigan and round sunglasses

covering your lusty eyes.

While I dreamed under the mellow sun

covering my lean body with tattered clothes.

You were always a mystery, a paradox, I wasn’t able to comprehend.

While I was the layman, unable to spark a fire in someone’s heart.

Your hair was long, with different streaks of color, each color representing

an aspect of your, trashy, unpredictable life.

You had bright eyes with passionate lips which intoxicated your lovers.

Our relationship was an unlikely affair,

We dreamed of memories which no longer belonged to us.

We are two heartthrobs, who fell inĀ  love with each other as we were easy on each

others heart.

We were not meant for each other.

We were just the spark that exposed our inner demons.

A spark that could not suffice our deeds.




Let me draw you,

let me express your curves and imperfections

let me tear the pages you have lived on with my hands

let me burn it, almost turning it into a lucid dream.

As the ashes fly away, I will always remember you as my first love.

you’re slowly fading away with the smoke and the ashes.

Your smile is losing its intensity,

Your hair is losing its softness.

You have become fiction

That day my heart stood still

As the cursed angels were writing its thesis,

You were fading away,

I laughed till everything burnt in my vicinity,

What a glorious sight it was,

Smell of charcoal and blood raised into the air

Only to realize you were alive and not dead.






I’m hurt, with the memory of my lover

I’m gone, to a distant hell

Scars do not let me go, as it has become one with me.

I’m crying

Leave me be, alas its too late to die in this whirlwind of a world.

Please help me, no please do not.

I’m dying

Oh god, don’t go, I’ve become one with it.

It kills me from the inside.

I’m gone.

I cannot feel love or be loved,

The scars can be seen, like the fireworks on the 4th of July.

I’m done.

I will miss you my love, please do not miss me.

You will be in my memory always.

As you were the reason why i have the scars in the first place


It’s like a blurred out image in a smoke-filled room, where you and your lover are standing side by side, when the mood keeps on changing from inky to incandescence. The world is left behind and you are stuck inside this smoke room where each time you breathe in the fumes, the more you want to stay because the pain and suffocation is worth it but eventually you will have to get out from that room.

The room where you found bliss, love, being yearned for you but it was internally killing you. This euphoria is something we desire for but all of us don’t have the key to enter this room but its in front of us, we stay in front of that door and want this key till the door is covered with snow, its torturous for some while some believe they will be able to get that key to enter the smoke room.

We all our unique, we have desires that maybe fulfilled or it may not be. Many of us get to enter this smoke room but many of us just die in front of this door waiting to get this key, where we maybe be able to experience love.