Summer’s Night

This summer, I met an angel.
With a smile as warm as summer,
And a gaze as cold as winter.
She wished to reach for the sky.
Only to be brought down,
By her tattered wings.
I long for her, but the agonizing chains,
Oh- they held me back.

Last summer, I met an angel.
who had a smile as warm as summer,
And a gaze as cold as winter.
She was soon relieved of her wings,
turning her into a lucid dream.
This pleased death even more so
to be her companion, for eternity.

She was bound to be mine,
Yet irony pushed me back.
except for the day when,
for fleeting moments, we were one.
The day death set her free,
only to be taken away from me.

Her skin was as soft as the summer dew
Her kiss reminded me of the cherry blossom
touching my skin.
One summer, i had met someone,
who had a smile as warm as summer,
and a gaze as cold as winter.

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Dear N.

Dear N,

How has Tokyo been treating you? Do you feel the air you breathe in your lungs or does it hit your brain with a sigh of relief? Are you able to look deep into a man’s eye and say  ” I love you” without a thought and any regrets? N, I miss walking down the road we used every day for 10 years. I miss not being able to hold your hands without a single worry.

N, do you stare at men with your lusty eyes and greedy lips without feeling a single drop of love and being loved, do you still enjoy the game of thought and being inflicted upon with a rarity of forgiveness and empathy. N, I want to hold you between my arms and see the plain sky nothing extraordinary as we have always been boring and insightful.

I wish to meet you again without being held back by my mistakes and grievances but not everything is so easy, I am unable to imagine holding you in my arms without the fear of hurting myself again. It is difficult for me to imagine a world for the two of us, without imagining ‘him’, you call him “prince charming” with a slight stab of your tongue under your breath. It is difficult for me to move on and say “hello” without memories gushing into me. I am sorry ‘N’ for being the black crow of your relationship even when it was my fault I am unable to imagine myself to be happy without any pain in your life, wanting to be the prince charming of your life and see your half sunken eyes in mine and call you mine but it is something which has taken me some time to come to terms with. N, this feeling of my heart being crushed into millions of fragments and my denial to live on ‘N’ you are my first heartbreak.

I wish I could meet you where we lost our hearts and danced to the whims of our mind.

love,

Tojo

 

 

 

Unsaid.

I am drowning in my internal monologue

with a heavy heart,

and unsaid grievances.

Unable to reciprocate an unsaid desire,

between empty pages and unlit cigarettes.

As the ink smears on our faces

your long slender finger picks up a fragment of the broken mirror

staring at it blindly.

The moon light reflects on our oblivious eyes

highlighting the hope it held within.

We stare at each other, without any thoughts

Just two hearts beating, filled with hatred for one another.

But emotionless on the outside.

Heavy breathing, while cursing softly under our breaths.

As the silence gets louder.

The blot of ink gets bigger,

We continue to stare at each other.

The lechery in my eyes continued to stare into hers,

The duplicity of her thoughts continued to bear on me.

We were not meant to be.

 

The Affair

I once had a passionate love affair with someone and it was marred by impossibilities.

Last summer we met for an unlikely affair.

We came from two different worlds,

both bounded by earthly chains, bringing us back to reality.

You lived like a queen, on the top floor of a trashy building.

I a makeshift aristocrat, trying to achieve a deluded dream.

You always wore a green scar and a grey cardigan and round sunglasses

covering your lusty eyes.

While I dreamed under the mellow sun

covering my lean body with tattered clothes.

You were always a mystery, a paradox, I wasn’t able to comprehend.

While I was the layman, unable to spark a fire in someone’s heart.

Your hair was long, with different streaks of color, each color representing

an aspect of your, trashy, unpredictable life.

You had bright eyes with passionate lips which intoxicated your lovers.

Our relationship was an unlikely affair,

We dreamed of memories which no longer belonged to us.

We are two heartthrobs, who fell in  love with each other as we were easy on each

others heart.

We were not meant for each other.

We were just the spark that exposed our inner demons.

A spark that could not suffice our deeds.

 

 

Art

Let me draw you,

let me express your curves and imperfections

let me tear the pages you have lived on with my hands

let me burn it, almost turning it into a lucid dream.

As the ashes fly away, I will always remember you as my first love.

you’re slowly fading away with the smoke and the ashes.

Your smile is losing its intensity,

Your hair is losing its softness.

You have become fiction

That day my heart stood still

As the cursed angels were writing its thesis,

You were fading away,

I laughed till everything burnt in my vicinity,

What a glorious sight it was,

Smell of charcoal and blood raised into the air

Only to realize you were alive and not dead.

 

 

.

 

Scars

I’m hurt, with the memory of my lover

I’m gone, to a distant hell

Scars do not let me go, as it has become one with me.

I’m crying

Leave me be, alas its too late to die in this whirlwind of a world.

Please help me, no please do not.

I’m dying

Oh god, don’t go, I’ve become one with it.

It kills me from the inside.

I’m gone.

I cannot feel love or be loved,

The scars can be seen, like the fireworks on the 4th of July.

I’m done.

I will miss you my love, please do not miss me.

You will be in my memory always.

As you were the reason why i have the scars in the first place